Burnt Cookies

This post is not about cookies. But I just took a bite of a slightly burnt cookie, and it's a darned good thing I did. Sometimes in life you need a burnt cookie to make you stop eating the cookies. This is one such time.

Anyway, I wanted to just share some funny Lily-isms from the last few days. I've gone over and over them trying in some way to tie them together, but I just can't do it. So, they'll just be snippets of hilarity the likes of which only Lily can deliver.

I have been, for as long as I can remember, a movie-quoter. I throw lines from my favorite films into everyday conversations in ways most folks just don't appreciate. But that's OK, because I don't do it for their satisfaction, I do it for my own. What I've created, however, is a little Mini-Me monster in Lily. She, too, is a quoter, albeit with her it's Curious George and Dora The Explorer that are most often repeated. One of the first sayings she ever repeated was Swiper the Fox's catch phrase, "Awwww, man!" It was always funny to hear her say it, mostly because it was always in the right context. Recently though, she paired it with a quote from her Daddy. She asked Mandi a question, was given an answer she didn't like, and responded "Awwww, man!" Without pausing, she cruised right into "Awwww damn!", which of course drew hysterical laughter from Mandi and I. She must have thought it was really funny too, because she proceeded to burst into a really great belly-laugh.

Later, at dinner, Lily proved to me that she does in fact listen when I scold her. Well, sort of. We'd been eating for a few minutes, at which point about half of Lily's food had moved from her plate to her placemat. This is nothing new, but as I want to discourage table-time antics I told her to stop playing with her food. Without blinking, she shot back at me, "Daddy, don't talk with your mouth full!" At that point the etiquette lesson ground to a screeching halt.

The next day at the pool, I was blindsided with one I'm surprised hadn't come up before. Lily's very observant, and not very reserved (if at all). She thinks it, and then she says it. No pause, no decorum, no nonsense. We were swimming in the kids' pool as an African American dad walked by playing with his son. Completely unprovoked, except by her unrelenting motor, Lily pointed at the man and said to me "Daddy, look! His skin is black!" Thankfully, the man did not hear her over the noise of the waterfalls. I played it off and sent her on her merry way. Later, a group of black teenagers gathered near the corner of the same pool. Lily, still apparently in "Outwardly Observant" mode, pointed toward one who was wearing a skull-cap and this time shouted "Daddy, look, he's a pirate!" They too did not hear her outburst, as it came from a good distance away. I had to talk her out of going over there to "Ask them where their treasure is."

The icing on the cake came this morning, as we drove down to Charlotte for our OB appointment. While negotiating a notoriously difficult portion of the Interstate, Mandi and I got into a small tussle regarding her inability to suppress the urge to give driving advice from the passenger seat. Without over-killing the details, she essentially over-reacted, I told her "I've got it!", and she retorted with "You could have gotten screwed!" My response was "But I didn't get screwed, did I?" Her answer was cut short by none other than Ms. Peanut Gallery herself from the back seat, who interjected (at the top of her lungs), "I didn't get screwed!" I don't think Mandi or I stopped laughing for 5 blocks. I think there's a chance we might have a little potty-mouthed child on our hands here.

Memory Lane

We took a little stroll yesterday down Memory Lane. Actually, it's on John Street in Matthews, NC. We were a few minutes early to a birthday party for the girls' cousin Peyton, and we decided to use those few minutes to take a quick look around The Reid House, where Mandi and I were married almost 4 years ago.


There were a few striking similarities to that July day in 2004. The most obvious was the searing heat. Temperatures rose above 97 degrees yesterday, just a degree or two shy of the 99 degree record we set on our wedding day. No person can attest to the heat of that afternoon better than Avery. The image of her crying uncontrollably in her flower girl dress because of the unrelenting heat (and mosquitoes) is indelibly etched in my mind. When I asked her if she remembered the moment, she replied "Yes, and I was trying to talk to Aunt Kristy and all she would say to me is Shhh!". The next day, she proclaimed her desire never to be a flower girl ever again, and I can't say that I blamed her.


When we pulled in to the driveway yesterday, another car pulled up right behind us. A woman got out and after the pleasantries we learned that she had hosted a party at the House the night before. We would have been content to just walk around the grounds and reminisce, but she offered to let us come inside as she did her final walk-through. We accepted happily, and the memories flooded back. It was fun to show Lily the room where mommy got into her wedding dress, the table where the wedding cake mommy and daddy made themselves was displayed, and the spot where her Aunt C gave her 2nd memorable speech in as many days. The Matthews' Historical Foundation, which operates the Reid House, has done a very nice job keeping the House in shape since our date . . it looks very much the same as it did.


As we left, I snapped one last photo of the house, this one of the door through which the wedding party left the house that hot, fateful day in July four years ago. I have long thought of that moment not as walking out, but rather walking through the door that led to the rest of my life.

Juxtaposition

I am a big believer in the notion that you are what you eat. More generally, I believe you become what you take in via all of your senses, not just in the form of food. I think you will become more like the people you associate with. I believe that if you listen to garbage on the radio or TV, that your mind will be consumed with thoughts of the inane. I think if you read books about how to better yourself, that eventually you'll absorb some of the ideas and internalize them.

So what does this have to do with juxtaposition, you ask? Well, irony takes many different forms. I'm all about pointing out the ironic, and this story is no different.

At the gym today I was focused on cardio. I had done a little lower-body weights stuff, but Thursday is typically my heaviest cardio day. So after 10 minutes on the stationary bike, I procured a treadmill that has its own TV attached to it. There was another identical machine directly to my right which was unoccupied at the time. I stated my workout, and after about 15 minutes a woman approached the treadmill next to me. As many people do, she brought a book with her to read while she walked, and as she placed it on the stand I glanced over to see what she was reading. I didn't get the title of the book, but the chapter she was reading was titled "Let The Lord Bring Justice Into Your Life", or something very similar. Good for her, I thought to myself. I just like the thought of people reading things that could improve their lives, whether it be spiritually, financially, or otherwise. The irony, of course, followed forthwith.

After getting her book situated and starting the belt on the treadmill, she reached up to turn the TV portion of the machine on. At first I didn't register an objection to this media overload. I was nearing the end of my workout, had increased my speed considerably, and was sweating pretty good. Then, as I glanced over again, I noticed her changing channels on the TV. She scrolled through the broadcast networks and stopped on none other than Maury Povich. Now as far as I'm concerned, to each his own regarding what you like to watch on TV. The particular irony was not in the show itself, but in what the caption at the bottom of the screen indicated was the theme of that particular segment. As usual, the guests of the show were a man and a woman seated next to each other, both visibly upset and randomly screaming untold things back and forth at one another. At the bottom, plain as day, the caption said, "I know you slept with the pizza delivery man, and I can prove it!".

So I guess what I'm really left wondering is, which of these two things this particular woman was consuming was her fluff, and which was the substance? Was the book what she was focused on, and the TV was just background noise? If so, why come back to that particular show after flipping past it the first time through the channels. Or was the TV her focal point, and the book merely an attempt to pass for a decent, Godly woman? Whichever is the case, the irony created by this particular juxtaposition was just too much for me to ignore. Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

First Fruits . .

I am a male, and as such I am very motivated by results. Specifically, I'm very keen on results that are visible. I fully expect that every single male of the species would appreciate results like the sight of "freshly mown carpet". Isn't that just a satisfying feeling?

Anyway, I've had mostly good results (and a few disappointments) from my gardening endeavors this season so far, and I thought I'd share.

Before the Square Foot Garden went in, I started some herbs from seeds in the garage. A few of them didn't pan out, but for the most part I've been happy. There's a second pot equally as impressive as this one of basil, which is a huge score for us. I love fresh basil, and these 6 plants are promising very good results.

The cilantro I started from seeds did not do so well, so I added this one (below, right) from a pot. The chives (not pictured), parsley, and dill are doing well though.

These showed up out of nowhere on the cherry tomato plant on our porch this morning. Actually, Lily found them while scouring the plants for spiders and other creepy crawlies.

This one will eventually be a Better Boy tomato. I got some stakes for the tomatoes today, just in case this one needs it, and in case the fence-for-a-trellis idea doesn't pan out in the garden.

The other plants in the garden are looking strong, especially the strawberry plants. I was most excited to see sprouts appearing from below the soil where my pea seeds were sown. Fresh peas right from the vine would be such a treat!



Keep your fingers crossed that I don't end up with, as one friend suggested, waterloupes from planting the watermelon and cantaloupe too close together!

A Signed Confession

Nothing makes a prosecutor's case easier than a signed confession from a suspect. And nothing makes me feel better about doling out punishment to the kids than knowing my hunch was correct.

We've had our share of food fights in this house. Don't picture Animal House . . it's not like that. What we have are arguments concerning what the kids will and will not eat. Mandi, being the alarmist that she is, feels that this will lead down a slippery slope to eating disorders, and has insisted that it be kept to a minimum. I don't buy her argument, mostly because I'm not concerned with how much the kids eat but rather that there's a balance between healthy and junk foods. Take yesterday, for instance. Avery wanted a Pop Tart for breakfast. I told her she could have it, but that she also had to eat a half of a banana. She agreed, and I was satisfied.

Fast forward ten minutes and I'm in the laundry room getting a load of whites into the washer when I hear a loud metallic thump come from the trash can. I look, and there's Ave with a guilty-as-sin look on her face, staring right at me. In my eyes, she'd waited for me to get out of sight and then tried to sneak the banana into the trash. I immediately told her she was grounded from her TV and computer for the weekend, and she started bawling. She insisted she wasn't trying to be sneaky, rather that she was just not hungry. I wasn't buying what she was selling, and I stuck to my guns. When she went upstairs crying, I was left with the slightest guilty feeling that I'd accused her of something she hadn't done, which honestly haunted me for the rest of the day. I don't want her to think I don't trust her. But I also don't want her to think she can pull the wool over my eyes on a regular basis and not get called out. We've got to establish that precedent now, before we start into the teenage years.

To top it all off, later in the afternoon I went upstairs to check on her after a few hours of not hearing from her, only to discover her staring wide-eyed at me in the doorway holding her remote control and whimpering "I forgot I was grounded!" Yeah, sure you did. I decided not to make a huge deal out of it, so I just left and let her stew. Apparently that was the point at which she decided to come clean, albeit in her own special way. When I came upstairs to get her for dinner about an hour later, she was on the bed writing diligently. My curiosity was peaked, so I snuck a peek at her work. What I found not only made me feel justified in handing down the punishment, but it also made me laugh hysterically at the inner-workings of an 8-year-old's mind. Here's the original, and I'll re-type it for your reading pleasure.

On a hot summer day I was kept in my room and could not come out. That's because I was grounded. All because of a banana. OK fine I'll tell you the story. This morning I was eating breakfast. I wanted pancakes so that ment I had to have a bannana with them. So I ate my waffels but I tried to sneak my banna in the trash can. So I woulden't have to eat it. But my dad caught me and grounded me. So thats why I'm doing laundry right now. I'll tell you the things I can't do: watch tv, play on computre, play outside, call friends. I was glad it was aredy five o'clock so my boring friday was almost over. Oh I forgot to tell you the worst part of it all! I'm grounded for the weekend. I begged my dad for it to be on a weekday but he said NO. I was geting lots of phone calls from my friends if I could play but I had to say no. Tonight I just straight went to bed at seven because I couldent do anything else to do so I went to bed. *flower* The next morning I woke up then I thought of something right when I woke up. I thought that since it had been a day that she could watch tv and her dad might not remember her being grounded so she flicked on her tv. She herd foodsteps in the hall it was her sister. Her sister was four years old. Her sister opened the door "Can I have barbie" her sister Lily asked? No. Then Lily started screaming tv! tv! tv! tv! . . . I covered Lily's mouth, dad came up. Oh, said dad. Dad swiped the TV. "No!", I cried.

Is that not priceless? I love how she changes some of the facts to protect the innocent (Lily was 4, not 3) and completely made up other parts of the story (the part about Barbie just isn't true). And was it pancakes or waffles she wanted? It was a Pop Tart. Lots of phone calls from her friends? The total was zero. Anyway, it was great for me to get what amounts to a signed confession in this deal. It's just a bonus that I got a good blog post out of it too.

DIY - A Square Foot Garden

I took on a project this week, and I'm really glad I did. I'd talked for 3 years about my desire to have a vegetable garden in our yard, but there was always something that kept me from making it happen. Well this week I finally made it happen. Mandi had heard about these container-type gardens called Square Foot Gardens, and she spent some time researching it. She found numerous resources, but her favorite (for obvious reasons) was a site called Frugal Dad . I read through the instructions, we decided on a good spot in our yard, and the decision was made to make this happen. We figured that we were better off doing it now, because next year when we've got an infant to chase around we wouldn't make the time to get it started, but that we could much more easily maintain it if the basic framework was already in place.

One thing we decided to vary from the typical plan for a square foot garden was that we'd start the majority of our stuff from plants, rather than seeds. This added quite a bit of cost, but since seeds are not widely available at the major retailers this late in the season, it was the best option. The one package of seeds we were able to find was for peas, which will probably not tolerate the heat they're likely to encounter this summer, but they were high on the MWI index, so I planted them anyway. If you're not familiar with that particular behavioral indicator, it stands for Mandi Wants It. What Mandi wants, Mandi gets. Anyway, between the wood, twine, soil, seeds, and plants the cost of our 8'x4' garden was approximately $80. If we get a reasonable amount of production from it, it will pay for itself quickly. Plus, there's something to be said for the opportunity to show the girls what really goes in to producing the food we take for granted will just be there at the grocery store when we want it.

The first step was to build the enclosure for the garden. I purchased (3) 2"x6"x8' untreated pieces of lumber from Home Depot. I cut one of them in half and fastened them into an 4'x8' rectangle using 3" deck screws, 3 at each corner. I chose, for uniformity, to alternate inside and outside on the corners. It made the inside width dimension about 3" shy of a full 4', but that was neither here nor there. Then I screwed 1 1/2" deck screws into the top of the box at 1' intervals from each other around the entire circumference. I used basic twine strung between these screws to create the grid pattern for the garden, which give it its 'square foot' appearance.

Next, I selected a site that would get full sun exposure. It just happened to be that the best spot was against a section of the fence, which allowed me to save the expense of adding a trellis for the plants that will climb. Then, in what was easily the most difficult and time consuming step of the entire process, I removed all of the grass. It hurt me to do this, because this was some of the best grass in our yard. But I salvaged most of the good soil below it and used it to level the area. I believe that's Avery's right arm making a guest appearance in the bottom left corner of the photo.

Then I placed the framework of the garden in the spot and leveled it with the soil. I had to make sure to fill all the gaps along the fence with the harder clay to prevent excess erosion of the garden soil.

The next step was to line the ground with something to prevent weeds from infiltrating the garden. I could have gone with a weed-preventing cloth available at Home Depot stapled to the frame, but in the interest of saving cost I decided to go with newspaper. I'm not afraid to pull a few weeds (it's an inevitability, in my opinion), so cost won out over substance in this case.


Next came the addition of soil. My options were to create my own mixture or go with a pre-mixed Garden Soil product like the one made by MiracleGro. I, again in the interest of cost, chose to mix my own. I went with a combination of top soil, mushroom compost, and manure. Most resources I looked at recommended Vermiculite instead of the manure, but I couldn't find that at HD, so I went with the cow poo. My garden's dimensions required about 12-14 cubic feet of soil, so I went with 5 bags of top soil, 2 of manure, and 2 of compost. That amount gave me a good fill, and left 2 inches or so of space from the top of the frame.

At that point the most difficult work was done, and it was time to plant the seedlings. Again, I placed the climbing plants in the row closest to the fence to eliminate the need for a trellis. Those included peas, zucchini, straightneck yellow squash, and heirloom tomatoes.


The next row included cayenne, poblano, and green and red bell peppers, as well as cucumbers. I allowed some space to one side of the cucumber plant for it to creep, and then added one okra plant at the end.


The third row includes two watermelon plants at the ends and three cantaloupe in the middle. I'm really looking forward to eating homegrown melons. There's just something magical about picking a 2 pound melon off of the plant and taking it inside to enjoy it with my girls. The front row of the garden has 2 strawberry plants at one end, and the 6 other squares were left empty. This will allow the cantaloupe to take up more space than their allotted square foot.


I finished up by evenly watering all of the plants and seeds, as well as the empty soil. It was a fun project, and from start to finish (including the shopping), it took about 6 hours of work. 6 hours and $80, and the promise of a bountiful backyard harvest. It feels good to have finally put in the garden I've dreamed about for three years. You can count on updates and photos when I start to see my first results.

Meteoric

This story will be short, yet sweet. Sometimes, little needs to be added.

Today when I picked Lily up from the ChildWatch she proudly displayed her artwork she'd done for me. It wasn't anything spectacular, just a mass of brightly colored scribbles with her name written on the bottom. I told her it was great of course, and then we headed out the door to the hallway. There, we were met by one of the employees, who very matter-of-factly greeted me by saying "Oh hi, Lily told me all about the meteor!"

Umm, what? Meteor? I didn't even know she knew what a meteor was?

"Lily", I said, "What's the story with the meteor?"

"Oh yeah Daddy, I draw a meteor!"

The quizzical look on my face as I turned away to follow Lily out the door must have spoken a thousand words, because the woman just laughed at me and went on about her business. I suppose this afternoon would be a good time to talk to Lily about meteors, being as she's already started drawing them and all. Perhaps I should monitor her TV time a little more closely.