The Silver Platter

Avery has a knack for handing me the occasional riotous post on the ol' proverbial silver platter. The last time it was a letter she wrote to NASA at school. You remember . . . "Dear NASA, blah blah blah their air is stinky blah blah blah Your Friend Avery" It was hysterical, probably second only to the "Poop is Comical" post about Lily and her blowout at the gas station. Well yesterday afternoon she once again produced an absolute gem, totally unbeknownst to her.

The plan was for her to spend Friday night at her Grandma's house, something special she gets to do by herself to spend some time with Grandma and Grandpa and get a welcome respite from Lily, Mandi, and me. (That is in fact proper grammar . . you can look it up.) Anyway, I told her to pack a bag, just some jammies, undies, and a change of clothes. The plan was to head over there right when Lily woke up from her nap, so I pushed her to get packed as soon as she got home from school. At around 3:00 Lily woke up, and as I took her downstairs I called for Avery to get her bag and come down with us. Her response is where the story got interesting . . "I can't carry both of them, can you help me?!"

Both of them? You're going for eighteen hours and you've packed more than one bag? What do you think this is, summer camp? I mean, really. How early do our wives teach our daughters this ridiculous over-packing habit? I thought for sure 7 was too young to be an over-packer. But sure enough, I get to the bottom of the stairs and there she is with her roller-board in one hand and a completely stuffed tote bag in the other. To top it off, she had to put her toothbrush in the front pocket of the suitcase because there wasn't enough room inside for it! So I went up to help her bring them down and the tote easily weighed thirty pounds. Of course, that was the one she asked me to carry. She put her coat on we headed out, and when we got to the car I actually had to open the trunk to stow her stuff . . I felt like I was chauffering her to the airport for a week-long getaway! Later I found out that she had jammed about 14 different toys and pets and random electronic gadgets into the bags that she hoped Grandma would spend all night playing with her. (Ok, so that grammar might be a little shaky. Get over it.)

Anyway, if anyone's looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, er, Avery, for her birthday . . perhaps some more voluminous luggage is in order? I'm just saying . .