No, it's not what you're thinking . . I'm not depressed and my marriage is fine. I have however stooped to a new all-time low in negotiating with my children. By virtue of my title, I've inherited the task of potty training Lily. The fact that I've done it before, with Avery, has little bearing here since that was over 4 years ago and I can't even remember what I had for lunch yesterday, let alone how to potty train a toddler.
When this little adventure began last week, we made a couple of deals with the little rugrat. Bribery, you say? Hey, I'm just going with Dr. Phil's "everyone's got currency" approach. Lily loves Dora, so we dangled some Dora The Explorer panties in front of her for when she was "all potty all the time", and some M&M's (her favorite candy) as incentive for each time she has a successful session on the potty in the meantime. That seemed a lot more reasonable than paying $25 for "The 3-Day Potty Training System" offered online, and more enticing than the "Potty Party at Chuck-e-Cheese's" method I'd read about.
And then I jumped the shark. Wednesday, Lily asked to see her "results" while I was changing a poopie diaper. Conflicted, I allowed her to peek, and then answered the onslaught of resulting inquiries . . "It's a big one? It's brown? It's gross? It's stinky?" That I stand behind . . what happened the next time she pooped, however, I will question for a long time. Trying to use every opportunity to convince her that there are numerous advantages to using the toilet, when she said "I want to see it" this time, I let my instincts get the best of me. "No, Lily, you can't see it. When you poopie in the potty, then you can see it." OMG, what did I just do??? I can't believe I used poop, or more accurately the viewing of one's own poop, as a bargaining tool. That is, far and away, a new personal low for me, one I can not imagine ever surpassing. At least, that is, until one of the girls has a less-than-desirable boyfriend we're trying to "discourage". Then all bets are off!